


valēre

by exhaustedwerewolf, hiiimaugust, HumbleWaysideFlower, nofluxgiven, TwinVax



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Critical Robin, Dreams and Nightmares, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Late Night Conversations, POV Alternating, Spoilers Episode 26, Supportive Mighty Nein, Unspoken understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 14:38:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16307072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exhaustedwerewolf/pseuds/exhaustedwerewolf, https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiiimaugust/pseuds/hiiimaugust, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HumbleWaysideFlower/pseuds/HumbleWaysideFlower, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nofluxgiven/pseuds/nofluxgiven, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwinVax/pseuds/TwinVax
Summary: vale, (noun): A farewell.(imperative of Latin valēre; to be strong or well)-Yasha must once again answer the call of the Stormlord.





	valēre

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the product of the Mini-Critical Robin Fic Writing Challenge, wherein each participant starts a fic with ~250 words and then passes it around to the rest of the group who each add on another ~250! It was so fantastic to take part alongside so many amazing writers, thank you all so much- I'm beyond excited to see the final results!

The ragged grove where the Mighty Nein had set up camp for the night was persistently, eerily, totally, quiet. There was no chirping of insects or of night birds- the whispering of the breeze and the occasional stirring or sighing of her sleeping companions was all that Beau, on watch, alone, could hear. 

 

So when a sudden gasp came from just behind her, she hardly suppressed a noise of shock, spinning around to see Yasha, pushing herself upright. 

 

Her face was in shadow- in the grey-dark of night, Beau couldn’t read her expression, but her shoulders were a straight line of tension. She stared out into the dark unseeingly.

 

“Hey.” Beau hissed, her voice louder than she intended in the silence, and Yasha jumped. Beau grimaced. “You okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Yasha whispered, running her fingers through her mane of hair. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

 

“Okay.” Beau whispered back. “You gonna split?” She added, and then winced at herself, feeling clumsy and ineloquent as soon as she’d said it. 

 

“What?” asked Yasha breathily, and then, with an irritated toss of her head towards the other sleeping figures, repeated herself in a low tone of voice. “What are you talking about?”

 

“Like, do you have to go?” Beau switched to a hushed rasp to mirror her. “Was it one of those sorta dreams?”

 

“Oh. Yasha blinked. “Oh no. It was...”

 

She hesitated. Beau’s ears burned hotly in the chill air, and she was about to tell Yasha to forget it when suddenly, the world flashed white. Beau yelped, throwing herself backwards and rolling to her feet. Only when she was crouched beside Yasha did she have the bandwidth to process what it was.

 

A tree, not twenty yards from them, had exploded. Its innards were singed black, splayed grotesquely towards them, like a flower. Beau goggled at it, glanced at the clear, starry sky, then back at the tree. Then at Yasha.

 

Yasha, in comparison, had hardly moved. She stood where she had been, now staring at the tree, her mouth tightened into a tense line. Her eyes were unfocused.

 

Beau’s chest was heaving with the traces of adrenaline, but Yasha’s breathing was carefully controlled.

 

Beau watched Yasha for a minute. Eventually, she said, “Was that… for you?”

 

Yasha’s head sank.

 

“You know it’s okay, right? If you have to go. I mean, we get it. Gods, right? What are you gonna do?” Beau babbled. 

 

“I  _ know _ ,” Yasha cut her off before she could continue. “I know. I know you understand, if I have to…” Yasha’s shoulders tensed. “But what if I don’t want to?”

 

Beau gaped. Not only was Yasha sharing  _ feelings _ , something Beau had been trying to get her to do for months now, but she was talking about her god stuff, and Beau didn’t know the first godsdamned thing about god stuff.

 

“Holy shiiiiit…”

 

Jester’s voice, sleepy and warbly, came from the campsite behind them.

 

Yasha flinched, and Beau glanced back at the rest of the camp. The lightning strike had woken up most of the others, except for Caleb, who seemed to cling tighter to sleep proportionally with how much danger they were in.

 

“Oh,” Deuce said, his voice rich and husky with sleep.

 

“Well, that sure is a way to wake up. What a sight that is.” Fjord said carefully, scrubbing a hand over his face. 

 

Beau looked at Nott, who stayed silent where she crouched next to Caleb, eyes on the tree before they moved to look between the sky and Yasha. The expression she shared with Yasha was familiar to Beau; the sadness and understanding that she was going to leave because she had to. 

 

But she didn’t want to, that was the important thing to Beau. Maybe she’d stay just this once, the Stormlord couldn’t  _ make _ her leave, just tell her to go. The others waking up kinda ruined their bonding talk, Yasha going silent and stiff as soon as most of the others sat up, but they could probably talk her into staying. 

 

“It looks kinda different than last time. More angry? Was it...like that before, Fjord?” Nott’s voice whispered through Beau’s thoughts, and she snapped back to the present. 

 

Fjord shrugged, nodding, “Yep. Don’t usually tend to think on it, but seems the same as last one. Not really an expert on tree lightning.” he muttered, lying back down. 

 

Yasha shifted beside her while they talked back and forth, and she turned to watch her reposition herself into a crouch, “I’m being called...I, I have to...”

 

Beauregard thought fast, grabbing hold of her arm before she could fully stand, “What if we went with you? You aren’t leaving us if we go with you. Your god probably won’t mind that, right?” 

 

-

 

“I...I don’t know…” Yasha went to explain, but stopped herself. Would the Stormlord really oppose, or was she the only one standing in her way? He had never demanded solitude of her, only obedience and an open mind. 

 

The others looked on expectantly, encouragingly, but also sadly. Her heart panged, a sharp twist. 

 

She sighed, shaking her shoulder in a way that got Beau to release her arm without being aggressive. 

 

“I don’t know…” 

 

And Jester, sweet, kind, chaotic Jester, trained her large blues eyes directly on Yasha’s darker ones, and in a voice so small and unlike her said,  “It’s okay Yasha, we understand.” And the worst part, was that they did, every single one of them, just like Molly did.

 

Like Molly had. 

 

Her eyes drifted towards the sky as they always did when she was searching for something, an answer, the right question, a sign. After a moment of electrified silence, she took a deep breath, and spoke, not at them, but still at the sky. “It is not that. I- I don’t think he would mind-” 

 

“Then why not let us help you?” Beau asked, leaping in like she was always doing, a rock to every hard place. Her eyes stared forward where it hurt to look. 

 

“It is that-” And she breathed, deep and full and painfully. Gods why was this so hard? “It is that I don’t know if I am ready.” She blinked hard, swallowing back the guilt. Gesturing out to the darkness, she continued, “There is so much I still don’t understand. That I can’t explain.” 

 

“But if we can help, why not let us take some of the burden off. Making sense of things, it’s easier when you don’t have to manage everything yourself.” Fjord spoke from where he had laid back down. He was not wrong, but advice from a man not willing to follow it himself, even when it is good, falls on unwilling ears. 

 

Yasha tried for a smile, and, leaning away from Beau, she stood.

 

“You are all very kind.” She said, but her eyes were not on them any longer- her gaze had already wandered to the horizon. “Maybe next time?”

 

She was met with silence, and looked back. The many pairs of eyes on her were worried, and pleading, and she felt another twist of her gut.

 

“Or the time after that?” She said uncertainty.

 

Beau opened her mouth to say something, but Nott spoke first.

 

“When you’re ready, Yasha.” She said, simply, and Yasha nodded. 

 

“When I’m ready.” She repeated, relieved, and she met eyes with Beau for just a moment before turning towards the skyline. “Thank you for understanding.” 

 

“Yasha-” Beau’s voice surprised her, and for a pulse-beat, she thought to walk away without letting her finish, but then-

 

“Be safe.” 

 

Without turning, she dipped her head in acknowledgement. A moment later, and she was gone, enveloped in the black cloak of night. 


End file.
